Do Soulmates Exist? Here’s What Science and Psychology Say
The idea of a soulmate is romantic, comforting, and for some—essential. But is it real? Or is it something we’ve all been sold by fairytales and Netflix rom-coms?
Let’s break it down: what actually makes two people feel deeply connected, and is there such a thing as "the one"?
🧠 The Psychology of Soulmates: What People Believe
According to a 2019 survey published by YouGov, over 60% of Americans believe in the idea of soulmates.
But psychologists say there are two core relationship mindsets:
Destiny Belief: The idea that there's one perfect person out there for you.
Growth Belief: The belief that strong relationships are built through effort, compatibility, and time.
🔎 A 2006 study from the University of Toronto found that people with strong "destiny beliefs" are more likely to give up on relationships when conflicts arise.
In contrast, those with "growth beliefs" are more likely to work through challenges and report higher long-term satisfaction.
✨ So, What Makes Two People Feel Meant for Each Other?
Researchers at the University of California, Santa Barbara found that feelings of soulmate-like connection come from a few powerful ingredients:
Shared core values (e.g. communication style, priorities)
Emotional safety and acceptance
Compatible intimacy needs
Mutual growth and life alignment
In other words: soulmates aren't found—they're often built through shared experiences and emotional risk-taking.
🌿 What Love Scientists Say
Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute, argues that long-term love is less about fate and more about neural compatibility.
She found that people who feel deeply connected share high levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin synchronization.
Translation? Your chemistry might feel like destiny, but it’s actually neuroscience.
💬 Final Thoughts: Soulmates or Soul Work?
Maybe the question isn’t "Do soulmates exist?" but rather:
"Are you willing to become someone’s soulmate—and let them become yours?"
At Lustford, we believe love is part mystery, part intention. Some connections spark instantly. Others grow slowly, through shared trust, laughter, intimacy, and play.
Either way, real connection isn’t passive. It’s created.
🍬 Explore Connection at Every Stage
Whether you believe in soulmates or slow-burn love, our curated tools at Lustford are here to support closeness, exploration, and discovery.
From our Candy Care+ subscription to first-time-friendly toys, let every experience bring you closer—to them and to yourself.