How Often Should Couples Really Be Having Sex?

It’s one of those questions couples hesitate to ask out loud, yet everyone secretly wonders:

How often should we actually be having sex?

If you’ve ever compared yourself to what you think other couples are doing, you’re not alone. But the truth, supported by some of the most recent and credible research, might surprise you.

Because when it comes to intimacy, there’s no perfect number.
There’s only what keeps you both feeling close, seen, and connected.

Let’s look at what the science and psychology say about it, and what university research has discovered behind the data.

A 2024 study from the German Family Panel (pairfam) analyzed over 2,000 couples and found that 86 percent of the happiest relationships reported having sex about…